Some time ago I identified one the biggest mistake I’ve made in working with colleagues:
I provided a lack of explanation and emotional background for my decisions.
I’ve brought a person directly to the top of thoughts in a very fast way.
- I thought that my decisions are clear enough even without explanation
- I didn’t want to waste the time of me and colleagues to explain the whole context and the way I’ve used to make my decision
- In many cases, a key part of decision making is based on personal emotions and feelings. I decided to hide this subjective part for some reason: my vision was that decisions made based on emotions and feelings are subjective and will be not supported by colleagues. Another reason: it’s usual in our world to hide emotions. Why? It’s a good topic for the next post.
I used the same approach for a long time before I’ve realized:
- Colleagues are struggling with me because my decisions were unclear for them. They didn’t make the same logical path to the decision. As a result, all my results were not natural, but synthetic from their perspective. They didn’t trust me. Now: I’m proving my personal logical path to the decision I made. It’s amazing: people understand me much better. They don’t argue over my decision but provide logical counter-arguments against some points of my logical path.
- It’s become clear to me that if I’ll save time during an explanation of my decision or idea, later I’ll need much more time and emotions for a long discussion and arguing. Now: I don’t care how much time I need for explanation, I put this decision to my colleagues: they need to decide to hear my explanation or stop me if they catch the idea.
- Emotions and personal feelings play a big role in many decisions. Avoiding them in explanation makes the result not clear. People will just don’t trust it. From the other side hiding of emotions is not good for your emotional state. It’s depreciating for yourself. Psychology says the right thing: don’t hesitate to describe your emotions. Now: I’m honest with my colleagues: I put my emotions and feelings in the logical path to my decision. And it’s awesome. I’m totally clear to them and it’s much easy for them to support my decision and ideas.
As a short summary if you want to see people understanding you and following your ideas:
Don’t hesitate to use the time of your colleagues for honest explanation of your decisions.
Also, the idea can look like this
To understand you, people should go through the path you’ve made.
If you always provide a whole path to the solution to your colleagues, remember:
It’s just YOUR path and it was just YOUR efforts to build it.
Sometimes the problem should stay unexplained to let people decide which path to choose or build their own and get new experience. Don’t take away such an opportunity from your colleagues.